The second event.
So on Wednesday of this past week I had my first ‘photography class’ with the kids. I am working with ten teenagers from a poor area of Varansi called Nagwa. My guest house is also in the ‘area’ of Nagwa, but for me Nagwa is the winding stone paths around, and in and out of this box like square cement one room buildings. These boxed houses are stacked upon one an other and filled with entire families complete with skeletal grandmas and chubby doe-eyed infants. The photo assignment for the day was to take pictures of their homes. Thus, I was introduced or more confronted with the situations that these children come home to every day.

I am still not sure how I feel after seeing the children’s homes. Yes they are different than anything I would ever call a home, but they have still made it their own. The rooms are stacked with knick knacks and photographs of the gods. To be honest the cozy spaces had more ‘warmth’ for me than most ‘american homes’. The perfectly straight pictures, the bleached sterile walls, smooth and perfectly painted just down harbor the same inviting atmosphere that these homes do. The tattered rugs and dusty corners created a nice backdrop to sip chai and listen to one of the boy’s brother demonstrate the tabula (a type of drum). In addition there are no doors on any of the houses. In fact people just walk in and out of each others home. There is literally no privacy. I imagine if I could speak hindi I would be hear the gossip creeping through the cracks and joining the flies on the walls.

What was more amazing was watching the children take pictures and how their neighbors reacted. The kids had a trouble keeping up as half clothed children seemed to spring from every corner screaming ‘picture picture picture!!!’ Even the old women didn’t seem to mind having their photo taken and shyly smiled when the teenagers held up their cameras. What was interesting was the village was completely devoid of men. I later learned this is because of course the men go to the work during the day while the home keep the home. For some of these women they have never even set foot outside of the tangle of buildings that compose Nagwa. Often women of middle to higher class aren’t allowed to leave their homes. In fact only the lowest castes and the women (at least in Nagwa) are the only ones who can actually roam the streets and leave.

Now of course this raises all kinds of feminist issues and questions in my mind. However there is so much to say, but people are doing what they can. Culture is restricting, period. We can only do so much and anything is something. Big feminist arguments sometimes the reality of the lived situation. Yet, things are slowly changing and like in the west the sexual revolution will come and little by little. And instead of thinking about all of the ‘repressed women’ there are some good things- I couldn’t help but think of how happy they looked and what a beautiful little community Nagwa seemed to be. I mean this little community is the world for its inhabitants. They have friends support from other women and a wonderful social system. I wonder if they didn’t have to worry about affording food and expenses would they be happy? They could enjoy the daily toll of chores, family, and friends. I mean there is something rewarding in hardwork. I myself continually am enticed by the idea of joining a kibbutz or communal living situation. However of course there is more to life. I believe that everyone has a bit of a ‘wonder lust’ or a what if. And these ‘what if’s’ (what if I had this, went to this place, had married this man) often usually link to one thing, money. All of the kids in fairmail and their families have joined the program because of the potential for money. Each picture that the kids take that is turned into a post card earns them 5,000 rupees—which is a lot of money for these kids. The money will help them go to school. That of course being the main goal for everyone.

However school also helps people see in a different light. I know the reason I went to university was to learn to see things differently and complicate my understanding of the world. One important thing with this type of knowledge is the ability to use it. I love that I can ‘be a change’ start and organization, or protest against something I think is wrong or right. However with these kids (especially the girls) this is quite a foreign concept. This is because of the confidence requires to speak out and be different. For the girls this is quite a difficult thing. They never answer questions in class and have a hard time speaking up or voicing opinions when asked (I am linking this to culture—sure it could be personality but…given the role of women here). However slowly everyday they are becoming more confident just through taking pictures. They are learning that it is ok to see something in their own way and take a picture because it is beautiful. The more involved with this project I become the more I can see the role between artistic expression and confidence. I think with art you learn to express yourself and have that expression accepted. It helps people realize that ‘yah I do have a personal view point and yah its different my own, and special…thus hey! I am SPECIAL!’. It’s funny how we all want or need to feel special or loved. I think people find this through relationships, family, religion, volunteer work or perhaps art, music and poetry-basically the confirmation that I am special and loved (maybe that’s why artists often are often lonely recluse nomads haha).

Speaking of weddings… it is wedding season. Thus there are parades of people with carts of food, bands and women in beautiful sari’s filling the streets daily. I kinda like the idea that weddings are public and they share their joy with everyone. However I hate that they block the road for ten minutes and practically pop my ear drums. Oh what love can do!